O

Our church community read Naked Spirituality: A Life with God in 12 Simple Words by Brian McLaren over the summer. I admittedly was a little busy with packing, goodbyes, and life to get around to that. Hopefully, after we’re finished with Trouble I’ve Seen: Changing the Way the Church Views Racisim by Drew Hart for our new church and Out of the Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load by Jen Hatmaker for another fellowship group I’ll pick it up. For now, I’ll just rejoice in the fact that I’m finally reading again as an adult. For some reason having children stunted that and I didn’t even realize how much I missed it until I started doing it again.

One of the practices discussed in Naked Spirituality is that of O. I may come back to edit this after I’ve read the book instead of only listening to the sermon on it but this is my best explanation for myself, for now. O is the placeholder when words are not enough. It is jubilation, awe, an overwhelming feeling of being surrounded by God’s creation. We were asked during the sermon if we were mountain or beach people. You know that feeling when you are in your “place” and you are just.so.calm. That’s O. I couldn’t really put my finger on if I was a beach or mountain person but I’ve come to my answer. Today I experienced O. On the way back to our apartment I wrote this, “Sunday #3 since we’ve left our tribes. Today feeling the loss of our church tribe. I wonder if the longing ache will always come whispering on the Sabbath. We headed in to the mountains today and felt our souls breathe a sigh of relief. O.” I am not mountain person or a beach person but where the mountains meet the water? That’s my place.

It was farther than a little quick trip and without most of our belongings we couldn’t pack a lunch or bring our water/sand toys but, oh my heart. My momma heart ached as I watched my kids come to life again, in the open air, in the water. They’ve missed it and they needed this. I noticed my soul too today. I cried as my husband told me I picked a good place to come, even though it was farther away than he’d wanted. He said he’d do it again, because he knows how much I needed it. Transition is not easy and I’m trying to find my footing in the mud with no permanent home, no village, and so many options and decisions to be made. I did need this. I wept on that beach because I had no words for my emotions in the midst of the beauty that surrounded us. O, indeed.